Therapy Animal Certification

Musings from the doctors office

The lady sitting behind me has a dog in a blue vest that says "service dog". Literally the entirety of this time I've been here she had been telling the dog to sit and leave people alone, that she has a mind of her own, etc. Seriously, if this is a therapy dog then I must qualify as a therapist. Who the hell is letting people give therapy dog status to dogs that are not obedience trained or qualified? People abuse the system like this all the time and while I am a faithful supporter of animals rights, I also know that this dog is not providing any support (seems to be pissing her off to no end as well as the rest of the people in the waiting room.) I have a customer at my store that bring her dog in every Sunday and while her dog is legitimately well behaved and doesn't make a sound or move out of turn, she has admitted to me and other staff members that she was upset that we told her she couldn't bring her dog in here so she got it certified as a therapy dog and now they can't say anything. That is abusing the system!!!! This dog behind me is a SHITZU! This dog is not opening doors or telling her to wait to cross the street. Likewise this dog is so poorly trained (at least the owner is) that she won't sit least of all stay, she BARKS at the owner, and the owner says "what?."

UGH. Abusing the system. Lets get a freaking handle on this shit ok?

Running Again

Today I hit the pavement again after a WHOLE ENTIRE MONTH off to let my plantar fasciitis heal. My doctor said I only needed to rest a week and half but I wanted to be SURE. 

I also allowed myself the luxury of starting off low and slow so that I wouldn't develop PF again. So today I only ran 20 min. And remember, I ALWAYS devote my first and last five minutes to warm up and cool down respectively. So really it's like I only ran 10 minutes. 

And you know what? I'm not ashamed! This is the choice I had to make to have healthy happy feet. I'm going to run every other day for this whole month. I'm not using a training plan YET but I'm working my way back up to the level of the training plan I will be using. 

You see, I've signed up for the Richmond half marathon in November, and I'm so excited!! It's really far away so if I don't want to peak too early, I've got to take it easy and gradually work my way through the training plan.

In other news I've now switched to a different medics, Z and upped my dosage. Today is my fifth day on it and while I fought a headache yesterday (side effect) I have noticed a slight trend of ease starting to happen. It seems as if less things are requiring me to self talk and boost myself up. I don't want to speak to early, but for the first time I can say I think it's going to happen for me. 

That is a hugely hopeful and powerfully optimistic statement.

Yay!!

Lastly, my weigh-ins have NOT been good. Maybe that's a side effect of the drug, but before I can decide, I want to really REALLY buckle down and track everything and especially stop myself from going over my daily target. 

So far I've been even or under by 1 the last 3 days, and I've been tracking pretty faithfully. This is good!! Along with my renewed running activities I have faith that my weigh in will be down! 

And if it isn't, then we know it's the drug and we need to find a different one.

Well that's about it. Check out Pepper's blog for my adaptation to brownies that make them easier to control.

See you all later!

Love,

B

Richmond's Monument Avenue 10k

Saturday I ran the Monument 10k! 

It's a huge richmond tradition and I was so happy to be a part of it! There were more than 40,000 runners registered!! Some of those people may have stayed in (I know of two!!!) because it was rainy. But that didn't stop me! I love running in the rain! The trick is to wear contacts (until they invent mini windshield wipers), dress in layers, and this is the big one... Wear TWO PAIRS OF SOCKS! When one gets wet it rubs against you. When two get wet they rub against each other!!! Boom!! I guess I do have another tip, French braid your hair. I always do this, but I especially don't need any flyaways or a rogue ponytail when it's all going to stick to my face. Ew.

So I had a strained tendon from over stretching the Tuesday prior. In case you're interested it was my Peroneous Brevis Tendon. Starts at your ankle bone and goes outside your foot to the middle bone that sticks out. If you turn your feet in to touch one another you'll feel the stretch. Now I have Plantar Fasciitis, so imm familiar with treatment, etc. so I knew to stay off it and ice it. That meant no training leading up to the race. That's ok, I knew I could run 6 miles, I've done it several times. 

So I just went out there Saturday morning pumped up and super excited. I ran the race and still managed to shave 2 minutes off my time!!! That's awesome!!! Thankfully the rain was just misty during my run. It didn't pick up until I was at the finish line waiting for my friend.

After the race we got an amazing brunch at River City Diner. I'm hoping to have them cater the wedding!!!! I got my favorite: French toast with dy scrambled eggs and corned beef hash well done! Yum!! I can't believe that I almost finished all of that! At least I was good and started with my protein (eggs) before splitting the time on the rest of the stuff (carbs and fats). I also ate everyone else's pickles before my own breakfast so that counts as veggies! Hah!

Then J and I went home and took a TWO HOUR NAP. Can't believe we slept that long! Perfect napping weather, thunderstorming the whole afternoon. We  wook up around 5 and arranged a Takeout dinner Chinese for me, soul food for him. (Perfect after a lazy day!!!) 

Around 9 we went down to The Portrait House in Carytown to celebrate our friends 24 birthday. (Gah we're getting old!) it was a pretty late night for us. Luckily we took a nap to charge those batteries! We had a great time. Loved seeing our friends. 

The rest of the weekend was nice and chill. I had to work Sunday and it was another rainy day. 

So that's our weekend! Pretty awesome! 

Get ready for spring!!!

Love,

B

The Good Kind of Busy

Today I hit the ground running. 

We'll not really. I commend myself for now pressing snooze, that is an improvement!!! But if we're being honest (and hello, that's the point) I did sit in my bed for approximately 5 to 15 minutes this morning. As usual. It's my time to check on what happened overnight on Facebook and email, etc. (not surprisingly, it's never much) and check the weather.

Ever since I was little I always have had a fascination with weather. I check it constantly and I always look at radar and numbers. I mean, dew point accounts for a lot people!

Anyway, when I did finally get my bum out of bed, I admitted to myself that I should just account for that time and wake up earlier. We'll see how that works. But the admittance is a good step.

I got ready for work and drank my premixed smoothies (one of my accomplishments from yesterday), then rolled in to work right on time. 

I plowed through work eating my usual 10 points or so. Hit up the grocery stores and gas on my way home. When I got home, I planted some herb boxes I've had sitting around for quite sadly literally a year (we'll see if they actually sprout). Then I donned my running gear and stupidly went out for a 6 miler. In my new prescription sunglasses. 

Obviously it started raining as I hit 3 miles and turned around. This is also when smart me decided to do the math of my pace per mile and I realized that I had to put the petal to the metal. I quite literally ran into the house grabbed car keys water and got in the car to drive to my piano lessons. 

I would have made it on time too, if I hadn't taken an exit too early and had to ride the clovers to get back on the highway. 

When I was done teaching their lessons I picked up my prescriptions and headed home. Of course I didn't grab a jacket so I was freezing in the sleet. When I got home I did a nice hour of yoga to de-ice my muscles from 2 hours after my longest run in 4 months. 

This was very relaxing until J came home and proceeded to ask me questions. He finally took the hint and went upstairs. It was at the exact moment of Shavasana (the closing of practice, focusing on meditation usually) that he decided to play drums. *sigh*

I hopped in a shower and by the time I was done I had to run to get to my WW meeting on time. 

Sadly I missed an opportunity to eat out with the in-laws, I left my phone at home and missed a text from J telling me about the change of plans. 

The good news is that I lost 1.6 lbs in the, ahem, 4 weeks I have missed of weigh ins. Yay!!!

I picked up my phone, called in my take out dinner, grabbed it and ate 2/3 in the next 40 min. I was hungry!

You have seen I didn't eat my usual intake AND I exercised a lot. So I was starving! I don't recommend this. It's so much harder to hear your body when it tells you that it is full. 

Then ms pep and I got ready for bed. Now J is home, but he's watching a soccer game so I'm going to bed on my own. It's very weird.

So busy days aren't always bad! This one helped me lose weight and keep focus on the things I wanted to acommplish. Even if it seemed like the world was conspiring against me, I just let it roll off my back and trudged on through. And now as I look back on my day I am so proud of myself!! Even for the little things like not pressing snooze! And especially for acceptance of things I still need to improve. 

What a wonderfully busy and accomplished day!

Namaste!

Love,

B

Marriage

Is what brings us together today.

But seriously. After a long morning in cold windy soccer games J and I decided to take a nap and relax during the rain. As I lay there trying to fall asleep a thought suddenly dawns on me. 

I don't know why I didn't think of this before. But I guess it finally sank in that J and I are going to be married in a year. It was a bit scary for a second that it was finally happening, but while I was assessing my feelings my thoughts drifted to Jason's and I wondered if he has fully realized this too. 

What was I thinking? Of course! That's what took him so long in the first place. All those years of me cajoling and coercing him into proposing and he held off. He waited until HE was ready, when all along I was the one that wasn't looking inward and checking my own readiness. 

That means go me at least that he has chosen me. He picked me. Forever. To be his and be with him. As I am. 

This is huge and truly meaningful to me. I guess you could say this is one of few times (if not the first time) that I have truly felt the depth of his love for me. And he's asleep through the whole thing!

Now I am even MORE excited to marry him. To seal our love and testify our commitment. It's the prefect relationship for us. Lately I've had moments that I have to just stare at him and say "wow, that is why you are my soulmate." 

Now I'm going to try to go to sleep, but if you ever hear me griping about him or questioning his feelings, please feel free to direct my attention to this quiet nap in a rainy afternoon. 

That day I knew he loved me. 

Love,

B

Spring has Sprung (for a few days before it snows again)

Today I moved my two (apparently) huge peony plants from the side of our house that gets ZERO sun to the side of our driveway, where they will get lots of sun!!! It was a very long, very dirty, very arduous process. I had to dig the new holes (which was the easy part!) then dig up the plants and haul them across the yard. Then I found out the holes were not big enough (either time, because you know, of course they aren't the same size.) and I had to quickly expand them. I also put a new bulb in the middle which SHOULD be a bright red, so I'll have my old pink and white and a new tiny red. I was planning on putting in some shade loving bulbs in the holes I left but frankly, I had already spent 3 hours on this and my hand was sore. Because I had done all of this with a hand trowel. So I left it for a mother day and doused the newly buried bulbs in water. 

Then I did an AWESOME 1 hour yoga practice and Jason is bringing home Cookout. Yay!!!

Feeling better, we'll get to that later.

Love, B

H2O

So water. 

Have you ever cried in the shower? Have you ever thought about crying in the shower? Have you ever held a cry in until a shower?

Maybe because the tears mix into the spray and the steam and soap. It's almost invisible. It's almost as if you aren't crying at all. 

Maybe you've noticed that the water running into your mouth tastes salty. Maybe you feel the snot dripping down your nose. Maybe you see darkness from clenching your eyes shut from unbearable thoughts. Maybe you hear heart wrenching sobs wrack your body and you hold onto the shower wall for support.

Maybe you collapse on the floor and curl into a ball because the warmth of the shower is the only comfort you can comprehend.

Have you thought of this?

Have you been there?

I was there tonight and so many things were racing through my mind. Some prayers to god: please let me be prettier so people will think I am enough. Please let my family notice me. Please let my fiancé care more. Please let me accept myself. Please let me appreciate what I have. Please let my sister love me. Please let my father love me. Please let people see me. Please let people hear me. 

Some weak attempts at reconstructing myself so I can finish the shower. Which I promptly laugh off because I am not pretty enough. I am not nice enough. I am not smart enough. I am not generous enough. I am not worthy enough. I am not worthy. I am not enough.

Then I admit that at some point I will need to get out of the shower and face the darkness of my bedroom and sleep. So I sing.

A very shaky somewhere over the rainbow. Then a little stronger let it go. I end with wrecking ball. 

I finish bathing and get out and I still can't face the infinite thoughts of trying to go to bed. So here I am. Blogging in a steamy bathroom. Working up the courage to face my pillow.

Needless to say, the 10mg does not appear to be enough. 

Date Night?!?!?!

I try really hard to keep the rule, "Don't ever let anyone hear you speak badly about your husband." And maybe this isn't so much about speaking badly of J, but instead about voicing my needs. My need to have my needs be met. I'm just so FRUSTRATED.

It has frequently been a concern that I have set the bar too high for my expectation of what date night could be. It's hard not to make a direct correlation to the amount of money that he is UNWILLING to spend on our relationship and on ME... to how much or NOT he values me. I know he loves me... but there is a point when I've been telling myself for months on end that "I am good enough. I am worthy." and other affirmations... but am I the only one who thinks that? Doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of this whole battle, of the affirmations? If the things my fiance  says and does are telling me that I am NOT worth a $70 french dinner, I am NOT worth a $5 latte, I'm not even worth a 10 minute drive to Krispy Kreme on a lazy Sunday morning. Which voice do I trust? As if! More like which voice is LOUDER. More constant. More insistent. I can't keep CONVINCING myself that I am worthy of X when I'm not worthy of Y. I'm not worthy of anything. I'm worthless.

I just feel so alone. He left to go get pizza because he doesn't even want to pay $3 delivery fees. Like the pleasure of spending 15 minutes with me relaxing isn't even worth $3. And we just sat here for at least an hour working out the kinks in our budget. SERIOUSLY grinding it. And we now know for sure how TIGHT things are. But that's the POINT of a freaking budget. We know how much we have spent... that leads us to make an educated estimate of how much it will continue to cost. Then we add those totals all up... and subtract that from what we bring in each month. And yes, it's tight. It's a $23 surplus. But that's due to the fact that we were incredible thorough. We have to be. He's a manic about money. He got anxious because of our date night... a prescribed amount that we had budgeted. And he wanted to take me to a MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Which is OK really it is.. every once in a while. Like if on a freak weekend when he found out he had to replace his windshield and we hadn't budgeted for it, I would understand. But this is the par that he has been making our date nights. I don't know about you but I've never once walked into a Mexican restaurant and said "Well this is romantic." I've never once finished a Mexican dinner and thought, wow, I feel special. I feel cherished. I feel valued. I was GOING to keep my mouth shut, grin and bear it so to speak. But I've been working on my affirmations. I've been fighting this battle. I've been TELLING myself that I deserve to be happy, and I won't get there if I don't ask for it. So I asked for it. I asked for him to think about the possibility that he might take me somewhere nice every one or two Saturdays in a few (this would be the umpteenth time I have asked). Not every Saturday... but not once a year. I just want to know that if there IS IN FACT a limit to how much I'm worth to him... it may be relatively high. Not that Mekong (my original suggestion for dinner, for the past 4 weeks) is the cap of how much he is willing to spend on our date night. And not even that because we have yet to go. And that isn't even a restaurant that I picked for my own pleasures. and it's too expensive. God forbid I want to go to Can Can or Lemaire.

So he stormed off to go get pizza that we ended up ordering for our "Date Night" after spending an hour on our budget. He was gone for like 30 min. He came back "with dessert" so I have hope that he feels bad about the conversation and how he left it and I know this is how he wants to make it up to me. But I would rather us TALK ABOUT IT than eat our way to happiness in sugar and fat. How about we talk about what he was so pissed off about, or maybe we can talk about why he is afraid to spend the money that we have budgeted and allocated. Or instead, lets talk about what I'm REALLY worth to him. Because if I'm "priceless" it's coming across as "worthless."


Sorry for the rant.

UGH

Last day in Cardiff

Well today is our last day in Wales. Tomorrow morning (bright and early!!!) we ship back off for London to fly back to the good ole U S of A. These past few days have been fairly relaxing. 

The night before last we stopped by a brewery called Zero Degrees... I wasn't impressed.

Bored enough to take a selfie!

I out drank the boys on many levels!!

The next day, we ate lunch at a place called mission burrito, think of it as overpriced and dried our chipotle. But the comment card was cute!

Then we wanted to find a pub to watch the Cardiff city football game... The queens vault was right next door but it was PACKED!

We ended up at a place called the yard, and I had my first fish and chips. Pretty good I must say. 

Their bathroom was nice to me.

Butt the ceiling wallpaper was a bit backwards. Heh heh

So today I'm going for my 3rd run this week, and I'm meeting up with my new friends for a farewell dinner. Last night :(

Love and cheers,

Brooke

2-4-1

Which apparently means Two for One. Have a good laugh now because I won't be allowing anyone to get that one off on me again. It seems so glaringly obvious now, but in those first few days here in the UK (which today means UcK-y weather.) I couldn't understand a fraction of what I saw and read. I thought it might be what they called their Happy Hour. Turns out it's just an insanely good deal you can take advantage of during happy hour. 

I digress, today is a 241. Yesterday's lazy reading coupled with today's lazy weather. A few extras from the past week sprinkled in that I somehow missed. 

A prime example here. On our 2nd or 3rd say our friend BH took us on a quick walking tour of Cardiff City Center (where we're staying and the gents are working.) and I had to laugh about the perfection of this bird sitting stop the statues head. Could it be anymore hilarious?

Indeed if could because literally the NEXT DAY as we walked around looking for lunch, the same bird (I imagine this too be the Mufasa of seagulls, the arcade is his pride [double pun!].) or maybe Even a different bird that stole his idea or fought for the right to take his place, was in the same spot!!  Too funny not to capture.

In days since, I have no seen anymore. I can promise I would have photographed them! 

Below is a framed print we saw in the Rummer tavern when we returned one evening for a few pints. I especially am reminded of my Brother-In-Law. This is something he and my sister would like.

Yesterday J and I got out for a bite to eat (he couldn't stand staying in bed all day like me :-), though I've made quite the art of relaxation.) and he used a phone booth to call a local beer shop. As the phone booth was not of the vintage variety I thought I'd grab a quick few good shots of the castle we walk around day in and day out.

Here is a close up of the gorgeous clocktower.

We decided to watch the FA Cup games at the Queens Vault which is across from Cardiff City's millennium stadium home to their football club. It's actually a good team!

On the way home we stopped in a mountain gear store and I snagged this jumper for £8, wearing it today!!!

Later for dinner we found literally no one on the street and just a few options for eating out. This place, Revolution, was open and we were the ONLY customers. 

J ordered the "original" Budweiser from the Czech brewery that recently won a lawsuit allowing them to CONTINUE using their centuries old brewery name in the EU only. Stupid Anheuser-Busch trying to take advantage with their crappy beer. 

Turns out this one is only morse rarely better. J's rating below:

In the way home we stopped at McD's (again one of the few places open.) and grabbed a mcflurry of the local variety! 

Here's a decent description of what lion candy is:

Today I was determined to get back into running. Promptly got stuck in a few downpours from which I sought shelter in bus stops. Here's a look at how soaked I was (or at least the part not sheltered by me.) don't worry I wore a light running jacket but took it off the second I got in doors. Way too warm!

Figured you should also see how red and breathless I was. Heh.

I cracked open our window to cool down and decided you might want to see a picture of the clock tower that rings EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES. I had thought this would keep me up at night, surprisingly not.

After I met up with the gents for lunch we went to grab Starbucks (yes they have them over here, and they use my gift cards!) and I thought you may care to know about the local big brewery, (think like Legend's or Hardywood.) makes me think of zombies. The dragon is the symbol of Wales. 

Anyway, I'm back now. Ready to read another good book. See you all tomorrow!!

Love & Cheers, 

Brooke

A Day of Castles

We began our day with a nice sleep-in, late breakfast and set off around 11. We went round Cardiff City first then head off for Castle Coch (with a 'k'), set up on a hill. Quite a steep hill, we climbed by foot.

Isn't is a bit like Brave?

With this filter it's a bit scary.

Which I apparently forgotto take off for my next picture. Ghost baby!

My friend BH took about 1000 shots of this picture. All remarkably similar and none capturing the whole of the castle.

You can tell this was meant as more of lookout, it's not terribly large.

But there is a wonderful view down to the river.

The weather, while the rain held off, was PERFECT for photographing the castles.

Giant J, tiny door!!

Castle selfie!

Not sure what the tiny door at the bottom left was for... Quick escape? Rubbish disposal?

As you move round the castle you see more of it is still red brick, out of direct sunlight.

Sadly, many UK Castles are the locations for suicides. How sad :-(. This must be in memory of one.

You can see glass windows, installed at some point when a zillionaire thought,"let's make this place home!"

JH went down to fetch me some true Welsh slate!! I brought it home with me.

Lovely view as we descended the hill back to the car.

Look solar panels!!! Eco friendly!!

In the middle of the shot Caerphilly_Castle. 

We parked at the only grocery store I've yet seen that wasn't a market. We walked across the street to the castle.  Look it has a moat!

One of the towers is a bit broken, yet it still hangs on. Amazing. When we stare at it it's almost as if we can see it falling before our eyes.

It's quite big!!

Panoramic of the whole of the main entrance. A double walled castle.

Standard arch entry. 

A view to the right, they appear to have a Canadian geese problem as well!

Selfie! J is eating a pastie. A toaster strudel with corned beef and hash inside. True Brit snacking.

Apparently one must pay £4.50 to enter the rest of the castle which we thought was a bit much. So we walked around the part that was free.

Like this part through a lovely arch.

But first we noticed that I sold LUXURY Farmhouse Ice Cream. So I posed!

Our boys talking about the various issues with only building one outer wall. Lovely moat/lake.

This is a great example of archery holes, great amounts of room to move about from within, much harder to conquer from the out.

I thought this was a lovely juxtaposition of castle moat/ village and hills.

People are allowed to camp out at fish. A bit tacky if you asked me.

A look to the left as we exit the keep of the castle.

As we round the castle we discover more secret holes/exits.

This is a view coming up on where we are going to stand, with the castle behind it.

More geese, with ducks mixed in. They looked so cold!!!

The keep from the small bridge.

This creepy statue... Angel? Gargoyle? Pagan god?

The entrance that we approached. Loads of archery windows.

Catapults!! Very clearly replications but still cool!

The welsh flag!!! As well as the creepy statue.

The village beyond the castle. So normal looking!

The keep of the castle

J & I with the castle behind us. Good shot!

Birds hole up in the humidity/drainage holes. Good for them as the wind and rain picked up seriously!

So we headed to the Courthouse pub for the game (so Brit).

Our mate and lovely host & hostess to Wales. (Wearing thoroughly American outfits themselves!)

This is how upset I was by the lack of view I could get with the filtered sunlight. Angels must have been landing.

Is still haven't had a proper cup of tea or afternoon tea either but, JH indulged herself (so Brit!).

Then we went back to their house and met their mastiffs. Lovely big puppies Einstein...

And Izzie!! J's size 13 shoe is a scale to how big Izzie's head is. And she's the smaller of the two!

On the way home we pass through a real posh part of town. Apparently pronounced Rih-bee-nuh.

J and I went for take out. This place was a bit less than flavorful but freshly made and still good. I'm just sad that I couldn't eat it all and we have no fridge or microwave. :-(

J had McDonald's bacon burger off the Saver menu. Bacon is uncooked so he took it off.

Then we went to bed. Big relaxer tomorrow!

Love & Cheers,

Brooke