But seriously. After a long morning in cold windy soccer games J and I decided to take a nap and relax during the rain. As I lay there trying to fall asleep a thought suddenly dawns on me.
I don't know why I didn't think of this before. But I guess it finally sank in that J and I are going to be married in a year. It was a bit scary for a second that it was finally happening, but while I was assessing my feelings my thoughts drifted to Jason's and I wondered if he has fully realized this too.
What was I thinking? Of course! That's what took him so long in the first place. All those years of me cajoling and coercing him into proposing and he held off. He waited until HE was ready, when all along I was the one that wasn't looking inward and checking my own readiness.
That means go me at least that he has chosen me. He picked me. Forever. To be his and be with him. As I am.
This is huge and truly meaningful to me. I guess you could say this is one of few times (if not the first time) that I have truly felt the depth of his love for me. And he's asleep through the whole thing!
Now I am even MORE excited to marry him. To seal our love and testify our commitment. It's the prefect relationship for us. Lately I've had moments that I have to just stare at him and say "wow, that is why you are my soulmate."
Now I'm going to try to go to sleep, but if you ever hear me griping about him or questioning his feelings, please feel free to direct my attention to this quiet nap in a rainy afternoon.
That day I knew he loved me.
Love,
B
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